and there was a huge thunderstorm.
I vow
-To put my heart and soul into whatever art I make.
-That when I think of giving up, I don't. Because who knows what the end result will be.
-To not be so safe and cautious when I make art.
-To have more fun with it, it's art not work.
-To be nicer about my skills, I have spent many hours doing what I love, and what I can do with doing what I love, isn't crap. It's time and devotion. The fruit of mind.
-To feel excited when I see someones work better than mine, because I know I will get there someday.
-To never feel too proud. Humbleness is the key to good-nature and growing.
-Treat my art like my babies and never let them get thrown around. whether I spent 5 minutes or 5 hours my hand touched that paper for a period of time and I let an idea emerge from my brain. No matter how satisfied I was with that result.
-To make art that inspires others
-Makes you think
-Makes you wonder "why did she do that?"
-Makes you go "oooh I like that!"
-Makes you disgusted and say "I hate that!" (cuz you can't please everyone)
-Makes you stare in awe and wonder "How did she do that?"
-Motivates you
-Art that makes you daydream
-Art that makes you sad, angry, happy, loved, beautiful, righteous, powerful, depressed, glorified, afraid, and any other emotion you can think of.
-Art, that makes you appreciate art because it is.

Don't we all? But I think we forget from time to time what art should do. I know there's good fun in making "fan" stuff, I know, I've done it too, and it's perfectly fine at time to time. I'm not badmouthing it at all. But at some point you have to make it go beyond that. If you love to write, make it more than a typical romance between someone and a celebrity, or two celebrities. If you draw, please do more than yaoi or billions of drawings of the same person for the sake that you admire them. Make it more. We are given amazing minds and creativity. We have the power to do a lot with a pencil, brush, mouse, wacom tablet, whatever. We owe it to ourselves.

To all of you who say "I could never do that." You can. You have a hand (or two hands) and a mind. All it takes is time. So you'll just need patience.

I know I've said this about my stuff. But never say you hate something you did. You probably only say it because you are aware of every mistake and you know of people who could do better. But the fact you put time into it should be enough. If you aren't satisfied, put more time into it, study on how you can make it better. Or just promise you will do better on you next project and be happy you got the experience from this one. Mistakes exist for a reason. And you can only get better. You are your toughest critic, just know that. Whatever anyone else says is only better than what you think. So just imagine if you loved something you did. Great results! Even though you will come across people who are mean for the sake of it, ignore them. Their negativity shouldn't affect your optimism.
When you make art now I hope you keep good thoughts in mind about it. Because I think that will make the art and you feel better in the end.

There's an art to everything, even loving what you do.

*****comment this journal and tell me what you think. I hope i didnt sound snotty or preachy or self-righteous. I was more venting my thoughts. Please respect that. And I wasn't trying to assume anything of anyone. Just trying to be encouraging and give my self some advice and motivation too.

My scanner hasn't been working for days. Sometimes my comp won't even recognize my scanner's even plugged in! I actually have stuff to post, and its not fair. It's madly frustrating. Maybe I should invest in a new scanner anyway, it does make lines and has problems. But i won't accept anything under 11x17 because i draw on bigger paper.
Grrr, I really hate this.

flippin awwwweeesssome. [link]

u see christian and gloria. and billeh looks purty

huh. i just remembered my dream from last night.

the good part was where i seriously got to beat up some enemies of mine. like just deck the hell out of them. NICE. felt soooo goooood, since i've been wanting to for sooooo long.

the bad part was uh i guess me and Billie J. were like old time friends sorta. maybe not old time, but, just good ones. and we were at some sunny place, kinda like a porch with white tea time sorta elaborate little chairs. and there was a bunch of nature it was actually really pretty.
and i was sayin some blah blah stuff. but i specifically remeber one thing i said to him was "Yeah you and Adrienne really give me hope." (considering how long they've been together, let me think there is actual love out there) he kinda leaned back and sighed. "We're getting divorced." I jawdropped like O.O O.o 0.o "whhatt? noooo!" i definitley flipped out. i don't quite remember if he told me why..
but then i went on to reassure him. " I won't tell anyone about it, especially not on the internet" (haha funny im doin it rite now) and he kinda nodded like "thanks." Since it was sure to be really big.
sad yes?
tell me wat u think.
oh and im also contemplating posting a WIP.

I had an art trade with someone. umm...i feel really shitty for forgetting ur screenname, but i love you! i have that edward drawing done, like, its been done for weeks now. i think you might like it...idk. if im lucky ill get to scan tonight. but yeah...i feel really bad. If you know its you im talkin about comment this journal please. i only have one sketchbook with me, so other things i've been working on are....elsewhere. but its okay. right?
Man, i really haven't been on for like..3 months now. I've been SCARED to go on. Because i have no privacy. hell, i almost considered giving up drawing all together. BAD IDEA. i know...but things have been screwy lately. Like, REALLY SCREWY. no no ULTRA MEGA STUPID HORRIBLE SCREWY. yeah, its pretty serious. so i really havent drawn much at ALL actually. But i will, i have tons of reference photos i loooove. and i have toooons of paper. and alooooooooot of creative frustration pent up in me. theres something...i dont have with me, where all i need to do is color the eye and im done. and i think its like the best thing i've ever ever ever ever done. so expect that at some point. If i can find my prismacolors.
btw. i looooooooove shirota yuu. so unique, must draw!